Tell me what I am really... Am I a girl, grown up in a middle class family, with conservative value system? Or am I the bold version that I would like to present to the world!!!!! Or inside me am I the human being who is waiting to come out and prosper with complete freedom of mind and soul, without fear and inhibitions and with loads of faith and commitment
I am sure as long as this conflict is there I will not be what I am. But why am I even bothered with it? B'coz somewhere inside I have this feeling that the reason for this confused state of mind is because I dont know myself inside out, and whatever I know, I want to make it presentable to the people I love or the society in general. I have been fighting with this war between what I am and what I should be. And I think I am now fed up of pretentions. Why have I been making promises which I can't or don't want to fulfill? Why do I jump on to the wagon of justifications, the minute someone checks on me? Why do I visualize people and events with my responses as if it is a movie which I am directing? Why do I pretend to know everything around me? Why am I so insecure, so gullible and at times so stubborn that even though the most practical or logical reasoning falls flat before me? Is it that I am crazy, or some deeply frustrated soul, who finds escapes by day dreaming about every damn and absurd thing?
I am sure as long as this conflict is there I will not be what I am. But why am I even bothered with it? B'coz somewhere inside I have this feeling that the reason for this confused state of mind is because I dont know myself inside out, and whatever I know, I want to make it presentable to the people I love or the society in general. I have been fighting with this war between what I am and what I should be. And I think I am now fed up of pretentions. Why have I been making promises which I can't or don't want to fulfill? Why do I jump on to the wagon of justifications, the minute someone checks on me? Why do I visualize people and events with my responses as if it is a movie which I am directing? Why do I pretend to know everything around me? Why am I so insecure, so gullible and at times so stubborn that even though the most practical or logical reasoning falls flat before me? Is it that I am crazy, or some deeply frustrated soul, who finds escapes by day dreaming about every damn and absurd thing?
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